Future Self Says

One of the practices I have turned to in the last several years is opening myself to receive wisdom and guidance from the woman I am going to be.  At first I knew this woman as my higher self or evolved self, and would inquire into how I would handle whatever challenge I faced if I were already evolved in all the ways I want to be.  Then I was introduced to the concept that the essence of who I am growing into is a palpable presence that can come to assist me in doing the work I need to do right now to make my way towards that future self.  

At the heart of Chinese medicine is the acknowledgment of destiny: that upon our conception each of us receives a unique mandate from heaven as to what we are here for.  Destiny is the fabric our cells are made of.  It is intuition and longing and the spark that motivates our will to move towards what we love.  It is momentum towards most vibrantly embodying our true nature, in this body, on this planet, in this time, and beyond.  If destiny is the blueprint of our being, and is what all life is calling us to, than it is a force that we have access to at all times.

Often I interact with my future self through writing.  This is how it goes:  Get still inside.  Turn perception towards deepest self.  Ask a question, or just open to receive.  Listen and write down what comes.  Let it come through unedited.  

Here is what my future self said to me most recently. 

You are responsible for you. 

So you are feeling unsatisfied, depressed, anxious?  

Look for the simple thing you can do right now to bring yourself into greater alignment with your vision for your life.  You can do the simple thing now.  

Doing the simple things will bring you to the greater things you feel coming, 
but cannot yet grasp.

Wake up, give thanks, and pray.  
Keep surrendering your life to this greater current. 

Let it move you and carry you. 

Learn to let the intensity in you BE. 

Let go of needing to figure it out or figure out what to do about it.  

That will make you feel crazy. 

Return to the deep stillness inside of you. 

Let that be the origin of all movement. 

Open your heart to wonder.

There is more here for you than you can possibly imagine. 

(That is the problem with getting attached to things staying the same, 
even when they are good.  

It doesn’t leave the possibility for even more greatness.) 

Don’t be afraid to show yourself more. 

You will gain the alliances you long for only in taking this risk.  

Not everyone will like you.  

Let the love in you shine out anyway.  

Let the words that come from your heart be spoken. 

Pray your devotion.  Show your beauty.  

Let life fully live in you.  

Let the Original Song vibrate every cell of your being.  

You were made for these times.  

Give to yourself the love of the Divine.

Yes really: That huge, indescribable 

and wholly unfathomable force that is the source of all things.  

Let that be the kind of love you show yourself.

You don’t need to “understand” it to embody it.

Let it move inside you.  
Be the banks and the tumbled, stony bottom of this wild river. 

Know your preciousness.

And remember:

‘Have patience for everything unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms of hidden treasure or sacred books written in a foreign language.  Don’t search for the answers which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is to live everything.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps then, one day in the future, you will, without even realizing it, live your way into the answer.’  (Rainer Maria Rilke)

(I love when my future self quotes Rilke.) 

I move uteruses

Sometimes when I'm asked what it is that I do for work, I say “I move uteruses.” I know ‘uteri’ is more grammatically correct, but I think that would elicit about as many blank stares as “I’m a women’s health bodywork therapist.” WOMEN’S HEALTH is a phrase that still doesn’t turn many heads. In my years of study and practice, my enthusiasm for women’s healthcare has often been met with neutrality, or even aversion. It took me several years to understand why; women’s health means how to be most vibrant and alive in a female body, right? Actually, not according to popular thought in the 21st century.

Women’s health is a topic that has over the decades been made decidedly not beautiful, not sexy, and not spiritual. Even in an environment of feminist thought, the new age movement, and the healthy living movement, it seems that the words ‘Women’s Health’ primarily conjure thoughts of visits to the gynecologist in both women and men alike. What is called ‘routine care’ is all of what many women know of women’s health: pelvic exam, PAP smear, breast exam. No wonder it’s not interesting! These diagnostics are valuable and certainly have their place, but ladies, how many of you have left the gynecologist's office saying one of the following?  

“That felt amazing.” 

“That was exactly what I needed.” 

“I wish I could come here more often.” 

“I feel like myself again.”

I hesitate to define what routine care provides as women’s healthcare. More accurate is to say it is a set of medical assessments to determine the presence or absence of pathology. This system is based on labels: you have this; you do not have this.

There is a huge deficit in the spectrum of care for women’s bodies. We need care that honors the emotionality and spirituality of the feminine, and invites us into greater health. Care that asks, “How can this woman be supported in finding and sustaining radiant well-being?”

True health in a female body and spirit is beautiful, vibrant, sexy, alive. I think that more and more we are able identify health when we witness or experience it, and we need more road maps on how to arrive there, and keep finding our way back. The natural birth movement and the women’s spiritual movement have taken great steps towards a new model of care, but as long as people think of PAP smears when they hear 'Women's Health', there’s more work to be done.

 I’m here to help inspire this revolution.

What has WOMEN'S HEALTH meant to you thus far?

What do you want it to mean?